The Prenup Power Hour
Getting married? Get a prenup. Already married? It’s not too late. I’ve seen things. Get a postnup.
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I get about four to five inquiries weekly (!!) these days about prenuptial/marital agreements. And I’m happy to see them! For years, maybe even decades, there’s been a stigma around engaged couples literally talking about their finances before saying “I do.” People feared it would end their delicate romance. But why are they marrying someone they can’t talk money with? How is that going to work out?
Think about marriage as a legal contract. Avoiding your finances and who-gets-what isn’t a great setup for a successful marriage. I know, because as a family lawyer, I am painfully aware that money is one of the top reasons people get divorced. Here are my tips if you’re thinking of tying the knot, or are interested in what a prenup can do for you (in Colorado, of course).
Already married? It’s not too late. You, too, can get a post-nuptial (marital) agreement with your bae now that you’ve been married for a minute and have a better idea of your assets and financial matters.
Don’t wait until the last minute to start the prenup process. If you are less than three months out from your wedding date, reconsider whether you want to rush a prenup or instead get married and then contract a post-nuptial (marital agreement). Ideally, you should be six months out. But hey, we family lawyers may take three months too. (Depends on the lawyer.) The key point here is avoiding a claim of duress, a frequent challenge to prenups in court. If a party claims they were rushed or under pressure to sign a document, and didn’t have time to really think it through, you may find yourself spending thousands in legal fees to save your prenup in court. Plan, and plan wisely.
Prenups are great for finances, debts, and assets. They are not for custody schedules or kids. Stick to addressing family heirlooms, premarital assets (accounts, property, trusts, whatever means the most to you). Make sure you include disclosure statements identifying everything you own as of now, how you want assets in your statement to be allocated (probably just to you), and whether bae is returning your grandmother’s wedding ring.
You + bae each need a lawyer. I don’t say that to make money. I say that because the statute governing prenups considers it, so later, if you and bae are now exes, there won’t be a concern that the only spouse who hired a lawyer had an unfair advantage. One lawyer cannot advise both parties—this presents a host of conflict-of-interest issues. Lawyers often work together on prenups, so ask me (or whoever you decide to hire) who they would recommend for your bae. Easy peasy. One exception worth knowing: if you work with a mediator instead, they won’t give legal advice to either of you, but they can help both parties draft the agreement. You’d still want to seek separate counsel if you need advice specific to your situation.
Think about how you want property to be handled during the marriage. If you both buy a house, is that automatically considered marital property, or does it depend on who bought it and with whose funds? Title matters. Do you want your premarital property and any appreciation to stay your separate property? If you do, you need a prenup because Colorado law considers appreciation marital (even on your premarital property).
Maintenance is the sore point of most prenups. Yes, aka alimony, aka spousal support, aka the marriage severance package. Whatever you want to call it (Colorado calls it maintenance). Would you dare not pay it? Would you dare ask for it? Colorado has its own maintenance guidelines. If you don’t want to be subject to them, or the painstaking wait on a judge’s Permanent Orders addressing whether one will pay the other, consider how much, if anything, you want to pay (or receive) in case of separation. Also, understand that this part of your prenup can be challenged later, regardless of what you do. The challenger has to show that it would be unconscionable to enforce this clause at the time of divorce/separation. It’s an uphill battle, but this part of the prenup is not guaranteed. Still, don’t forget to address it.
Don’t forget the attorney fees provision. Attorney fees are a different provision from maintenance. If you earn more, are you willing to pay a lump sum for the other side’s fees should you separate, and to avoid a guessing game in court? Are you both paying your own fees, despite unequal financial circumstances? Not a hot topic for a Friday night date, but think about how this might play out should you end up separating. This provision is also subject to a challenge, like maintenance.
The prenup is not a substitute for a will. In addition to this document, you should each consider getting a will. Prenups help determine who gets what if you separate. Wills help allocate who gets what when you die. They are not the same thing. Also, these documents are not a one-time thing. You should revisit them from time to time to make sure they make sense and reflect your current situation.
I hope your mental gears are turning. That’s the point. Think and discuss with your bae, even if it’s hella awkward. It’ll strengthen your relationship.
Contact us today for a prenup/postnup consultation, and we’ll get you on the right track before you say “I do”! If you’re already married, don’t worry. We can still help with a post-nup.
Also, I’m hosting a workshop on prenups, postnups, and everything you ought to know before you say “I do” on March 20, 2026, at 2 PM MST (at my office). Limited tickets available – capping this at 10 people so we can have a good conversation. Check out my Eventbrite below to sign up!
Next week, I’m talking all things child support. Because it’s about to change big time.
